Tuna 3 Ways

Everybody knows that you don’t fuck with tuna. There is a certain .. odor.., a whole campaign about how they DON’T kill dolphins (should this not go without saying?!), and if you eat too much you might get mercury poisoning and die. But deli meat prices are insane, and there is no arguing that it is DELICIOUS. Best enjoyed in the privacy of your own home away from the prying eyes (and judgmental noses) of your enemies, blasting Mephiskapheles while living your best life.  Below are 3 of my favorite ways to enjoy this tinned non-delicacy. 

Can of Tunafish

Ingredients: 

1 Bumblebee tuna, canned

Directions:

Open can of tuna and drain of all liquid. No need to use a bowl, this dish is best enjoyed with a fork directly out of can. 

Tunafish Sandwich

Ingredients: 

1 can Bumblebee tuna, drained.

1 large scoop mayo

1 squirt Dijon mustard

2 slices of bread of your choice, lightly toasted

Directions:

Combine tuna, mayo, and mustard in bowl.* Place between bread, and enjoy! 

*if you have pickles, a small splash of pickle jus adds a little zip! 

Pasta with Tuna and Peas

Ingredients: 

1 can Bumblebee tuna, drained.

Pasta, eyeball amount from box 

Frozen Peas 

Lemon

Olive Oil

Parmesan Cheese

Directions:

While boiling water for pasta, mix tunafish in a small bowl with a glug or 2 of olive oil, proportionate to the amount of pasta you are preparing. Squeeze a lemon wedge, salt and pepper to taste. Time your pasta in tandem with your peas, adding them within the last 4 minutes of al dente - so they are done at the same time. Drain. Mix pea pasta and tuna mixture together, add more lemon, salt, pepper, and oil as needed. Top with parmesan Cheese and, if you're feeling spicy, red pepper flakes.

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